I Hate Both Presidential Candidates

This is the perfect election for left and right extremists.

For others, like yours truly, who don’t pander to one side or the other, this is hell.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton equally represent the absolute worst of what all of humanity has to offer. The two of them are selfish, greedy, lying, sociopathic narcissists with borderline personality disorders. I give a slight nod to Hillary Clinton in regards to who is more mentally ill.

There doesn’t appear to be a compassionate bone in either of them. I’m having difficulties recognizing which one of them is more power hungry or fundamentally evil. Both have done ridiculous amounts of harm in order to elevate their status and both of them have and continue to readily lie to cover their tracks. Both devalue human life and both seek out every opportunity to shamelessly brag about personal and professional accomplishments that truly never happened. Both have also left wakes of destroyed personal and professional relationships that have ruined peoples’ lives. Both have chosen personal enrichment over substance and honor at every turn.

Perhaps the most telling is that both claim bravery and loyalty when their lives are peppered with the exact opposite of that. Trump and Clinton are chickenshit hypocrites with delusions of grandeur. How our system ended up with these two dipshit charlatans confounds me. I guess at this point we are simply voting for who we want as Vice President.

Jeff Pearlman, Shut the Fuck Up

Jeff Pearlman,

I love you. If you ever read this, never doubt that.

But I had to delete you off Facebook. Crying about Donald Trump with every post, or every other post, got on my ever loving nerves, my friend. You used to not be so political, but that changed. I suppose it’s because it’s a presidential election year, but still. You are a southern California liberal that fits the definition to the core. I don’t have any political party affiliations, but socially I do lean liberal. I’m just fucking sick of seeing you shit on Trump while not dishing any turds towards Hillary Clinton.

It all came to a head this morning. I was listening to Stevie Ray Vaughan’s beautiful cover of “The Things I Used to Do” and saw your bullshit pop up on my feed. No more.

“I don’t give a fuck if you delete me. Who are you?” is an appropriate response. I’m nobody. Just felt like bitching today while I listen to some of the best blues ever crafted.

“Showtime” is one of my all-time favorite books. I read it right after reading Mike Tyson’s “Undisputed”.

“Boys Will Be Boys” is among my favorites, too.

I can’t wait for your future books. Your writing is fantastic.

But for fuck’s sake, Jeff, you couldn’t be any more left. Versatility is underrated. I feel this way towards far right folks, too.

Love,

A guy that enjoys your writing

Talking About Politics is a Wasted Discussion

“All you do is talk about sports, caffeine and alcohol. You don’t have any opinions on something important, like politics.”

You are damn right. I don’t. Well, I do, but at the same time I don’t. Paradox 101.

Somebody told me that recently.

What’s so important about politics?

Worldly issues? Discussing our country’s missteps and problems and how we can fix it all? Well, that’s all fun and dandy, but when you are talking about politics you run into one big issue: nobody ever agrees on anything, and a healthy debate usually turns into an unhealthy vat of anger, chaos and disagreement. Fuck that.

These politicians standing around in suits are nothing more than penguins telling the public what they want to hear. They all appeal to a certain demographic. They will tell you what you want to hear. They all speak a big game.

Donald Trump appeals to a lot of American rebels who want anything that’s different than what we currently have. OK. That’s fine and dandy, but what’s he going to do? He knows how to erect big buildings and use his money. OK? What action is he going to take.

Hillary Clinton shouldn’t even be mentioned. She’s a lying piece of shit. I like the saying, “If she couldn’t make Bill happy, then how can she possibly make America happy?” That’s a non-sequitur in reality, but it’s a comical joke.

Ted Cruz fucking sucks. He announced that America is a Christian nation. Uh, Teddy, no, it’s not. America was founded as a secular nation. Of course, such a comment by him will probably appeal to zealots that are ‘sick and tired’ of ‘what’s been happening in this country as of late’. I’ll let you decipher what I mean by that.

I don’t like anybody running. Do you? Why?

It’s all just a big joke to me. These folks stand on their soapbox and deliver tangents and what will inevitably be unfulfilled promises about what they’d do in office. None of it will ever reach fruition. These schmucks are lifelong politicians (sans Trump).

I don’t get the appeal.

So let me dwell in what the aforementioned person might call ‘ignorance’ or ‘stupidity’ and talk about my sports, caffeine and alcohol. At least they contribute something to my life. Sports: competitiveness, entertainment, a coming together of a group of people. Caffeine: psychoactive stimulant that brings forth productive, palpable energy in my day to day life. Alcohol: occasional imbibement of various beverages during social interactions with my lifelong best friend/quasi-brother.

I’d rather talk about that ‘inconsequential shit‘ than mindlessly ramble about politics and cry about who’s a conservative or liberal. Simple minded, pedantic fucks.