I Love and Hate Writing (And a “Screw You, WordPress!” Rant)

WordPress has made accessing the admin dashboard page a pain in the ass! I had to manually type in wp-admin just to get there. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WordPress! You guys are still the premium blogging platform on the planet, but that’s because there’s absolutely no competition in your echelon right now. I remember when I first made a blog on WordPress. It was in 2006. The layout was tremendous. You could access your stats and WP-Admin so quickly, and logging out was a cinch. You didn’t have to search for it.

2006-2008, WordPress was excellent. 2009-2011, it was still top notch. Even in early 2012 it was great, but ever since, the guys and gals behind the platform keep tinkering with the website design, and instead of improving it, it keeps getting worse. I digress.

I used to want to be a writer. Of course, that’s a silly statement to make, because anyone can be a writer if they simply sit down and write words. But damn it, I wanted to be a writer with prestige and an impressive vocabulary that hooked the eyes of a multitude of readers. That dream died out a few years ago (maybe five or six?), but I never stopped loving writing.

I’ve made so many blogs on WordPress over the years, from talking about sports to food to life.

One of my biggest regrets is not continuing the blog I started in May 2008, “Clogged Arteries”. I was just about to finish up my junior year of high school. I was also in, physically, the best shape of my life, but I vehemently enjoyed bacon (I still do, but I did, then, too) and even moreso, Baconators from Wendy’s. That was before I started cooking my own food and before I really delved deep into nutritional science.

I attracted a following fast, because back then WordPress was set up much better. The tag pages were more oganized; when you’d search for a specific tag, there’d be a “top/featured” post and the recent posts. It was easy to navigate and not so in-your-face and clunky like it is now. Within a month I was getting daily comments from strangers around the web on my content. I wrote about greasy foods, with pictures and pretentiously witty commentary, and my crowd ate it up. But I stopped. Looking back, I’m not sure why I did. Boredom? Apathy?

I love writing, but I hate it, too. Over the years I can’t stand some phrases that people use. I hate the word ‘muse’ when it comes to writing. Who’s your muse? It makes me cringe similar to nails screeching down a chalkboard.

One of the biggest reasons my attempts at writing has dropped off is that my girlfriend moved in with me last June. I love her to death and I plan on marrying her, but 1.) I’m definitely an introvert (albeit I enjoy being social and I can hold my own in public speaking, I love my alone time so goddamn much) and 2.) she… loves to be around me all day when she doesn’t have to work; I appreciate that, but read what I wrote in #1’s parenthesis.

I’m an only child. Even though I’d spend many days and nights with my best friend/de facto brother, I spent a lot of time alone, writing or playing video games or shooting basketball in the driveway (when my dad was at work) or riding my bike in my little neighborhood. I did my homework in my room. Peaceful, quiet time was and still is my bliss.

My girlfriend has a younger sister. Her family, the four of ’em, did everything together. They had their computer in the living room, right near the TV, and that’s where she and her sister would do their homework when they were in school. I can’t imagine that! Doing your homework while the TV is on? Holy shit! No concentration whatsoever from yours truly…

No kinds of noises bother my girlfriend (except she hates hearing someone smack their lips when they eat). I’m — on the other hand — different. I guess I have a touch of misophonia (hatred of certain noises). I hate hearing people eat… crunching, slurping, etc. I even get a little annoyed at heavy breathing. Let me clarify with the ‘heavy breathing’ comment — I mean, if you are sitting down and doing nothing, and I’m trying to read, write or something, and you are sitting over there heavily breathing as if you just completed a triathlon, I feel like snapping.

I know it pisses my girlfriend off, because she knows these noises drive me nuts, but I can’t help it. I’d love to find a way to just not allow those noises to bother me, but I have zero clue how to do that. I can’t stand hearing someone crunch almonds, carrots, chips or pickles when I’m trying to immerse myself in a movie or TV show and hear the characters speak. Totally fucks up the experience of watching.

Even though I’d love to change my hatred of certain noises to where they don’t bother me, I will always love my alone time. My girlfriend also takes this as an insult, when she shouldn’t. It’s simply my personality. I may have felt this way even if I didn’t grow up as an only child with plenty of alone time. I just enjoy being by myself with my own thoughts. It’s not that I don’t want to be with her (of course I do). I just love spending time alone a couple hours a day.

I don’t like writing around other people. It’s an intimate, personal and alone act to me. That’s why I could never be one of those stereotypical ‘writers’ that you see in coffee shops. Too much noise, too many people and too big of a chance for coffee to spill on the computer (I’m a neat freak and never have liquids or food around my laptop).

Finally, I’m awful about proofreading. I hate it. Hate it. I don’t like going back and reviewing what I’ve written.